My restless mind wanders across boundaries beyond reach trying to grasp a ray of hope that would make believe that the wish of my troubled heart would come true.

The stubborn yet innocent child within knows better to let go and move on and not let this turn into a misery as there is more to life than the absence of someone for whom this troubled heart has an infatuation that goes beyond limits and remains to be inexplicable.

Why does this heart and mind think so much about someone that she barely knows? Why does this heart and mind miss this someone so much that there is not a day that has passed without heartfelt thoughts of this person gleaming in my mind.

Such moments make me feel that if ever I get close to someone or start to get attracted to someone or something, it never works out and keeps getting distant from my reach.

This is something I have felt from the day I lost my father. Every single day brings new experiences, thoughts, reflections and hope.

Maybe I always seek for the wrong things and the wrong people. Maybe I have more to learn and grasp about this journey of life. Maybe I don’t see the gap between what I want and need in my life.

Maybe someday in the future when I turn back I will see the truth. I may understand why things are the way they are. Maybe I’ll see where I went wrong and what should’ve been done.

What I need is strength, joy and a strong sense of hope to take the next step which I do not know where it would lead me to.

If I could, I would like to let this person know how much I miss him, the little things he used to do, the abundant smiles he brought upon my face and for giving me a feeling that I didn’t have for some time.

Perhaps it is just a passing cloud. But I would love to see this sunshine after my rain. Maybe he doesn’t care or feel the same way. I certainly have no guts to let known what I feel for him. I fear of what the response might be if it isn’t mutual from the other end.

He isn’t aware of what this heart and mind goes through at this very moment and he may not know how fond I am of him and how much I think of him. Sometimes even I wonder why I feel this way about him.


I miss him… and for once I wish a wish would come true………